You know the feeling you get when you meet someone in a group of people and everyone knows each other? Then there’s you standing in the corner awkwardly smiling, waiting to be introduced. I cannot stand that uncomfortable feeling. I’ve experienced this feeling many times being an introvert.
However, there is nothing worse than experiencing this feeling when you’re alone. It is one thing when you choose to be alone, but having to sit in your own company when you’ve never got to know yourself can be a very isolating feeling.
I always wondered how people handled covid. I know that isolating feeling was not easy. I think being okay with being in your own company is a universal experience that everyone must go through, and I know that this is not an easy task.
From my experience, I had to overcome FOMO (the fear of missing out). Taking time to get to know myself almost felt selfish. I’ve always prided myself on being the friend who never missed an event. I thought that if I started missing out on hanging out, they would eventually find other friends.
My place in my friends’ life became important to me because I never took the main role in my life, so however they saw me became my validation. I felt that way because I couldn’t see the value in my company because I never allowed my true self the comfortability to stay.
I saw myself through their eyes which is funny to me because I claimed I didn’t know myself. Many times we all feel like we don’t know ourselves, but we ignore the way our body communicates to us. We tend to ignore that gut feeling we have when we don’t want to do something, or we just need to take time for ourselves. That gut feeling is your not only communicating with us but protecting us.
I also think that some of us are afraid to take that journey because once you find out who you actually are, you don’t always fit the aesthetic that you once cosplayed in. It’s a certain authenticity that you have when you are finally comfortable in your own skin. Not just authenticity, but being comfortable being alone comes with a great boost of confidence. You learn the areas that you are naturally gifted in. In addition, it gives you the motivation to maneuver in these areas.
I find that people who are comfortable in their own company also make the best friends. These are the type of people who allow you to be your true self without judgment. They are able to have this mindset because they have already mastered the art of accepting themselves.
These people know how to multitask being a friend to others and themselves. They are also able to set healthy boundaries with others and handle setbacks better.
Being alone shouldn’t feel like a burden because no one knows you like you know yourself. You know the things that make you laugh, smile, annoy you and things that disappoint you. The relationship with yourself is the one friendship that flourishes on your terms. It’s the one friendship that allows you to be selfish.
If you have never taken that leap to get to know yourself, here’s your chance. Pick your favorite movies. Pick two nostalgic movies from your childhood and two that you are dying to see. Buy all your favorite foods, books, etc. Plan a day to do everything that you love or everything that you always wanted to try.
Give yourself the attention and patience to just be. After you do this, you will find that no matter who you are with or where you are located, whenever you are comfortable being in your own company, there will be no other place you will rather be.