How burn out affects your loved ones as much as you

As I’m in the home stretch of this semester, I’ve noticed that I’ve been burning out more than usual and pushing myself away from the people that I love and care about. 

Becoming burnt out can be easy, especially when you’re a college student living off of ramen and coffee, and it can affect you without realizing it sooner or later.

I have always thought that if I work hard enough, school and work wise, to the point where I can’t think properly the next day, I am doing a good job at being organized when, in fact, I am not.

I understand that being a hard worker shows improvement in my everyday life, but it can be hard to realize when to stop working or taking a break from all of it.

I am a full-time student at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, and I work two jobs to pay rent for my off-campus apartment. I go to school from Monday to Friday and work both of my jobs from Thursday to Sunday. 

It can be draining running from one place to the other, and it feels as if I stop for one second, I will either fall behind on everything or disappoint the people around me. 

I always worry about disappointing others, and I know a 20-year-old woman shouldn’t be worrying about what others think, but when it’s your friends who you care about so much, it can be hard.

I never try to push the people that I love and care about away, and if I ever feel like I do, I immediately talk to them to apologize about how distant I’ve been with them. A lot of my friends here in Lafayette give me a reason to enjoy my college and the town because I always learn something new everyday from them. 

As much as I love my major and try to stay involved as much as possible, along with balancing my social life, becoming burnt out has hit me in more ways than I can possibly think of.

Burning out can come in different waves and it feels like I am having an out-of-body experience. Burning out can feel like mood swings or it can just happen for no reason while doing everyday tasks. There are also some times where you can feel burnt out without even realizing it, like when grease pops onto your skin while cooking, but you’ve got so much going on that you don’t realize it until later on. 

I specifically remember when I was focusing on a big test for one of my classes that is really important to my major where I couldn’t speak or write properly. I was so aggravated to the point where all I could do was tear up. What I thought was the best solution was to take a nap. I slept for the whole day and didn’t respond to anyone that day. 

My parents have also noticed how burning out has affected me and my family. My parents have always explained to me that they are proud of the fact that I work very hard for my classes, but are concerned if I’m overworking myself too much.

My mom has had one on ones with me about this ongoing problem for quite a while, and it makes me feel sad to know that I’m worrying her about school and work.

She visited me not too long ago for an event, and I felt awful about how the apartment looked and apologized almost the whole time she was there. Before she left to go home, she asked me if she could stay an extra day to help clean the place up while I go to work. I really appreciated the offer and how she wanted to help me, but it made me realize how caught up I’ve been with everything that’s been going on in my life.

I love my family and friends, but being burnt out a lot more than usual has affected the people I love and care about. As the semester ends, I really hope everyone stays alert, gets as much sleep as possible and not burn out too fast.