Even though Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, I never really celebrate in a spooky way. To me, Halloween has always been a time to dress cute and get some free candy. Haunted houses and creepy costumes were never really my vibe. Mostly because growing up I already had enough anxiety without deliberately scaring myself for fun. 

While I have watched some Halloween movies, it’s always been things aimed at children, like “Scary Godmother,” “Hocus Pocus,” “Halloweentown” and “Monster House.” Nothing that I would say was necessarily meant to scare or really be considered a horror movie.

This year, I decided I was going to change that. I set out to watch some cult classic horror movies and see what I’ve been missing out on.

The first thing I watched was the first three movies from the “Scream” franchise. I knew a little about the franchise, mostly that it’s supposed to be a parody of itself. When watching, this became increasingly obvious, especially when Randy explained the entire plot via drunken rant. 

I actually quite enjoyed this aspect of the movie, as it made it more comedic than scary. The funniest thing to me was watching Ghostface run and chase after people. I guess you don’t need to be particularly speedy to be a serial killer. 

As the franchise progresses into movie two and three, they become less of a parody and more like the movies the first was originally commentating on. The movies are still comedic, especially with Dewey, but they’re less predictable. I didn’t necessarily mind this change, but I definitely think you could watch the first as a stand-alone and have a good experience. 

Of the first three movies, “Scream 2”  was my favorite just because I was genuinely invested in who Ghostface was this time around. Still, it wasn’t really scary. I wouldn’t watch it if I wanted to watch a horror movie, though. I would more so classify it as a thriller. 

“Scream 3” felt… forced, I guess? You ever watch a movie and think “this was definitely just a cash grab” after watching it? Yeah, that was me. You see a lot less of Sidney this time around, so it feels like it wasn’t really about her. We also have Randy back to explain the scary movie trilogy ideology, but it really didn’t live up to the first two. 

Overall, I really enjoyed watching these first few movies, and I can see why they’re so iconic and beloved. Really, though, how does Sidney manage to keep finding people that want to kill her? And rest in peace to my man Cotton, he deserved better. 

The next movie I was going to watch was “Halloween,” but it’s not on any of my streaming platforms at the moment. This was very unfortunate for me because I wasted a good 50 minutes of my life watching the 1980’s “Friday the 13th” instead. 

Off the bat, you can tell it’s a summer camp in the ‘70s by the way everyone is incapable of keeping their hands to themselves. Genuinely so much of this movie is just teenagers making out or being hit on by a creepy older guy. 

On top of that, the acting and special effects are really, really bad. At one point, one of the girls says “There’s something wrong with Ned.” with the straightest face I have ever seen. Miss Girl did NOT care about Ned or the fact that he was potentially drowning. 

The only saving grace is that everyone has really great hair and amazing outfits, so shout out to hair and makeup and costume design. 

Also shout out to Kevin Bacon. I didn’t know he was in this movie, and searching for the cast list on Google to confirm my suspicions gave me a nice distraction from watching. 

And that’s it. I stopped watching after Kev Bacon and his girl started kissing. I came for murder, did not stay for the summer flings.

The last movie I watched was “A Nightmare on Elm Street.” If I’m being honest, this is the only movie that genuinely freaked me out. While the special effects weren’t super great, just the idea behind them was enough to get me to feel on edge. 

Freddy Krueger is so creepy, not just in his appearance, but also in his personality. Trust that if I have a nightmare about him, I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that I’m not waking up. Can’t wait to write those Allons articles about the afterlife, though!

My favorite part of this movie is when Nancy’s mom says, “He’s dead because Mommy killed him.” Truly and simply iconic. That line is a thousand percent ending up in my vocabulary of movie quotes.

I can definitely see myself watching this movie again for future scary movie sessions. It was the perfect amount of everything, really. I don’t really have many complaints about it. 

So, there we have it! I dipped my toes into the scary, scary world of horror movies. I’m honestly glad I did, as I got to add some new favorite movies to my list. Maybe next year, I’ll wade into more modern horror.