Mawwiage. Marriage is what brings us together. At least according to “The Princess Bride.” Personally, I hold marriage on a high pedestal. To me, marriage is fundamental and I like to think it is the ultimate step in a relationship.
Now, in today’s society marriage has been very rocky. The subject of marriage is something not really looked up to. And that is due to many things but the gist is, people are not ready to commit to other people.
Obviously, this sentiment does not extend to everyone. There are still people who strive to get married. But why do some people not want to get married? What does marriage entail?
For me, marriage entails cooperation between two people. Typically to start a family, though children aren’t always the end goal. Marriage is more of an emotional commitment, a commitment to be with a person through thick and thin.
The way I see it, marriage should be sought after being with someone for a very long time and learning who they truly are.
But marriage really has no set rules to it. It is essentially just signing a contract with someone. A little harsh but that’s the legal side of it.
Now, why all this talk about marriage? Recently, I have been seeing many people around me get married. And I feel a little left out.
I have seen my high school friends get proposed to and start planning their weddings and even seen entire relationships with people I have on Facebook blossom and end in marriage.
I am still very young, 19 to be exact, so marriage isn’t on my schedule right now. But I still find myself comparing my life to the lives of people my age. My friends are either engaged or in long-term relationships.
And I think that is beautiful and all, but I feel like I am falling behind. I like to think that I have a traditional view of marriage.
That when I am well into being an adult I will settle down and get married. This way of thinking comes from me viewing my parents’ marriage. They got married in their late ‘20s.
Marriage, at least to me, is the endgame. After spending years knowing someone and working through the bumps in the road, you can embark on the journey of marriage. And even after all that, you still have to discover your new married life. That itself has its own struggles.
I know everyone has their own timeline of events in their life, and I shouldn’t compare myself to others. But my generation is different from my parents’ generation. In my generation, things seem to be sped up, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
But to someone who isn’t on the dating scene, it can sometimes feel like others around you are fast-tracking their life, while you’re struggling to start your engine.
In one of my English classes, we had to read an essay on what this girl thought of marriage and singleness. My professor said what he got from the essay was that many people are single and end up depressed.
Now, that is what the essay was talking about, the correlation between singleness and depression. And it made me think about my own situation.
I came to the conclusion that depression and singleness have no reasonable correlation.
I think that singleness should not affect my mental health. I am not defined by my relationships or my relationship history. I am defined by who I am as a person and what I do to better the lives of others. Not who I am dating and if we look like a power couple.
I often ponder on it and get sad that I’m not where my peers are but I understand I have my own path. And that is a hard lesson to learn at my age.
I often think about the future and try to grasp any figment in my brain as to what the future holds for me. That way of thinking is very detrimental. I have come to learn that I just need to let life do its thing. I cannot force life to speed up for me, I can only wait and experience my life as it is now.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, and I hope that one day other people and myself can experience that. But marriage may not be for everyone and that is also okay. Marriage does not define you as a person, you are still capable of being loved and loving others. It is okay to just be you and you alone.