Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, otherwise known as ADHD, is a disorder that results in the person being unable to maintain a constant focus on a task, being unable to sit still and constant fidgeting. The symptoms don’t stop there, because the hyperactivity part can take multiple forms depending on the person. Sometimes, those with ADHD may not even have hyperactive symptoms, this is referred to as ADD (also known as Inattentive ADHD).
Despite being one of the most common disorders in the United States, it still isn’t any easier of a disorder to live with.
I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD when I was a kid and have been living with it ever since. Typically, I take medicine for it in order to maintain a steady focus, but there are times where I might forget to take it. In these moments, it feels so hard to focus on a specific task, even ones that I want to do.
For those without ADHD, it may seem just like procrastinating to an extent, but for those of us with this disorder, it feels more like your mind is constantly forcing you to pull yourself away from one task to another. It feels less like, “Oh, I really don’t feel like doing this” and more of “Oh, what’s that thing over there? Wait, what was I supposed to be doing again?” over and over again.
The worst part about focus is that it can be almost anything that can end up taking our focus away. I’ve had moments where I would be in class learning about the history of the Great Depression or something and all of a sudden, I would see some random scratch on the wall and begin staring at it almost the entirety of class. Was there something cool about that scratch? No, but nevertheless, it still managed to drag my attention away from the lesson.
This lack of focus can sometimes result in some productive things also, but these “productive” tasks aren’t usually very important. For example, I could be working on a drawing for a good solid five minutes then all of a sudden, I would get a random idea like making my computer background a random low quality photo of a cat. Then, somehow, this “productive task” would go on for about 30 whole minutes.
Despite these examples of how horrible these moments of lack of focus can affect me or others with ADHD, these are only the most common types of examples. Some of the worst moments will have you going on long adventures with never-ending side quests. One moment I might be working on a drawing, then the next I’m driving to Walmart for food and then I would get there and somehow stay in my car for nearly 10 to 30 minutes watching YouTube Shorts.
These moments can go on for even longer sometimes, but they are more of a rare occasion for me as my medicine luckily negates them from happening too often.
Despite the medicine helping though, it doesn’t entirely negate these symptoms for me. I can not even begin to list the numerous times I would go on TikTok or YouTube Shorts and get lost in them for hours. The short length of those videos make it way too easy for my brain to get lost and I’m sure many others with ADHD would agree with this.
The only way I manage to get myself back on task in these moments is by having to literally force myself away from them. Now while that might sound easy enough, for me it’s like those moments in movies or shows where the hero gets hypnotized by a villain and ends up having to forcibly pull their minds out of the hypnotization, except to an extremely less cool extent.
One of the worst parts of ADHD is probably that it doesn’t disappear as you grow up, it only expresses itself differently as you get older.
For me, it feels as if it has taken up more of a forgetful role for me as I found myself getting distracted so much more often to the point I will just forget what I was even doing. For example, there was this time I went to the store for something only to arrive there with no idea of why I even went there in the first place. I spent nearly 15 minutes walking around in the store trying to remember what it was that I went there for. I ended up not remembering until I left.
Now despite all these things I’ve listed about how horrible ADHD can be sometimes, it is manageable.
Sure, these moments of distorted focus can be painful when trying to get work done, but it doesn’t mean that the work will never get done. ADHD causes distractions, but eventually that attention is regained and work gets done. We just require more time and patience to gain our focus back than the standard person. Otherwise, how would I have typed out and finished this article?