SATIRE – APRIL FOOLS
The NFL world was shocked yesterday when it was announced that the New Orleans Saints traded with the Tennessee Titans for the number one overall pick in the 2025 draft.
This has come as a massive surprise to the sports world, as no one suspected the Saints to make such an aggressive trade. The Saints had, for years since Drew Brees left, been languishing in the purgatory of the NFL, not good enough to make the playoffs but not awful enough for a good pick.
Apparently, Saints ownership and front office had enough of that and decided to gamble it all for this year’s first round pick. The Saints have, with the trade news, made it obvious who they wanted with the pick. The problem, though, is not the player the Saints are gunning for, but instead lies in what they gave up for the trade.
The Saints have given up every pick in the 2025 draft, along with every pick in the 2026 and 2027 drafts. On top of this already insane package, they have also given up their first and second round picks in 2028, 2029, 2030, and 2031.
This will, in all likelihood, decimate the Saints for decades to come. This will especially be true if this pick does not pan out like general manager Michael Louton believes it will. When asked about the trade Louton had this to say, “Yeah, I know it is a bit of a risk, some might call it a bit insane. But if this works I think this kid will win us enough Lombardis to make it worth it.”
Who exactly is this “kid” that Louton is referring to? Who exactly is this generational prospect that the Saints have deemed it acceptable to throw their franchise’s future away for?
The man that has been considered the first overall pick in this year’s draft, someone referred to as a generational prospect is Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns’ quarterback Alyus Dick.
Dick entered the draft following his junior season with the Ragin’ Cajuns, where he led them to an undefeated regular season and a spot in the college football playoffs as the fourth seed. Their season came to an end in the semi-final match played in the Sugar Bowl against Notre Dame, where the Cajuns came up short, losing 35–27.
Coming out of Ville Platte High School, Dick was only a three-star recruit with offers to local Louisiana schools like LA Tech, ULM, McNeese State and Louisiana.
Dick decided to go to Louisiana, where he instantly became a starter his freshman year.
Since he first stepped foot on Cajun Field, the kid from Ville Platte has been nothing short of sensational, losing only two games as a starter in his three-year career.
His freshman year saw the Cajuns go 11–1, with only a single loss against the Texas Longhorns. Dick finished the season with 4,321 yards in the air with 31 touchdowns to only 11 interceptions. He additionally picked up an additional 1,255 yards and 12 touchdowns with his legs.
Dick and the Cajuns would win the Sun Belt Championship over Appalachian State 44–30. Dick would account for 430 yards and 4 total touchdowns, a truly electric performance.
That performance would earn the Cajuns a trip to their first ever NY6 bowl game, playing in the Cotton Bowl against Heisman winner Caleb Williams and the USC Trojans.
Alyus would put on another outstanding performance, rushing for over 200 yards and three touchdowns in a 45–42 upset over the Heisman.
These spectacular performances would earn Dick All-Sun Belt honors along with Sun Belt Freshmen and Offensive Player of the Year. He also received national recognition as well, being named to the NCAA All-Freshman team.
His second season would be even more spectacular than his freshman year, he would lead the Cajuns to an undefeated record including a win over Florida State in Tallahassee.
The Cajuns would once again win the Sun Belt and Dick was showered with awards, though the Heisman eluded him.
Dick finished his second season with 4,783 passing yards, throwing for 38 touchdowns and 14 interceptions. And just like the season before he added insane numbers on the ground too. The kid ran for 1,538 yards and 19 touchdowns, combined with passing Dick was responsible for 6,321 total yards.
The third and final season would, by far, be his best season and many could argue be the best season of college football of all time. Dick looked like a man amongst boys as he passed for 5,272 yards, finding receivers in the endzone for 45 touchdowns to only 10 interceptions. That by itself is impressive, but Dick raised the bar even further as he rushed for 1,743 yards and 29 touchdowns.
These numbers would be good enough to lead the country in these stat categories, something that has never been seen before. Despite that, he would lose the Heisman due to concerns over his “competition.” This apparent lack of competition included a week three game against in-state rivals LSU. Dick led the Cajuns to the biggest upset in Louisiana history as they brought down No. 13 LSU 52–48 in Death Valley.
Dick was outstanding, far and away the best player on the field. He accounted for 752 total yards, 450 yards through the air and the other 300 yards on the ground. This went along with his seven total touchdowns, including his game sealing 70-yard touchdown in the fourth. Following Louisiana’s loss in the Sugar Bowl, Dick would declare for the draft where many saw him going first overall.
There are a lot of concerns though about his size and if the way he plays can translate to the NFL. The Saints obviously believe they can, as they have now bet everything on the hometown hero to save the franchise.