The 21st century has led to multiple variations of family dynamics. Whether it is the classic, both mom-and-dad combo, or having a single parent, or even not having any parental figures in the household, everyone grows up differently, forming familial relationships, strong and weak.
For as long as I can remember, I have been blessed with the opportunity to grow up with my grandparents: Nana and Paw-Paw. Now and then, my mom would move us out to a random apartment, but it never lasted long, and we always ended up back with Nana and Paw-Paw.
As a child, growing up in this dynamic seemed uncommon and opened up a sense of contrast between me and other kids. When the students at school would first find out, they sort of expressed a sense of sorrow for me, as if they saw my situation as unfortunate.
However, in actuality, this is probably one of the few parts of my life I would never change. I don’t know what much of the difference could be with those who grew up with their parents versus me, but I feel like I was raised with the same experiences as everyone else.
Nana, specifically, has been such a light in my life. From first taking me in when my mother could not, to now our continuous FaceTime calls as we talk about how our lives are going. I am not sure how, but this woman has made me feel so loved and chosen throughout my 18 years of living.
A key example is just recently, I had talked about wanting cookies but I had no time to bake any, and I couldn’t really buy any since I am gluten-free, and I kid you not, this woman had baked me gluten-free cookies the next week and brought them to Lafayette–keep in mind I live an hour and a half away.
It’s not that I asked her to, I was simply just sharing my feelings with her, and here she took that opportunity to serve me in a way that no one else does in my life.
Not to mention, it’s not just these moments that show me her love, but the small ones as well. Quite often, I will get a text from her showing me her outfits for the day, or she will send something that reminds her of me, just to keep in touch. Within the chaos that life seems to throw at me, it’s nice to be able to look at these messages and just feel a calming sense of joy. A feeling that I know my grandmother has an insane amount of love for me and I do for her.
It’s comforting to say the least, and I only believe we were able to become so close because of my, or I guess, our living situation. I am not saying you have to live with your grandparents to be close to them–not at all–but I am saying that it would be hard to replicate the relationship Nana and I have.
All my life I have looked up to Nana as a motherly figure in my household. She did all the grandma things that one does: bake cookies, sew quilts and spoil you with Christmas presents. However, she also did the motherly things: signed me up for doctors’ appointments, went to school conferences and even disciplined me. Each action I am grateful for, and without her actively taking part in my life, I think the way I grew up would have been much different.
Nana and I are closer than ever; I don’t even think some parents can come close to the bond we have. I talk to her about literally everything under the moon. The good, the bad, the exciting, the boring.
When I found out Hamilton was coming to New Orleans, the first person I geeked to about it was her. When I would watch Dancing with the Stars and one of the contestants would make me mad, I would rant about it to her. When I would start a new show and my favorite character would die, I would whine about it to her. Everything I felt, she knew; and all she does is sit back and listen to me, on and on, letting me confide in her about absolutely anything.
Now, obviously, our relationship is not perfect. She and I have had plenty of arguments, and I am sure there are more to come. They usually stem from the fact that I can be a bit impatient, and Nana feels the need to repeat things two to four times–a beautiful combination if you ask me. Nonetheless, we always bounce back from what can seem like a war between our words, strengthening our relationship.
I could look at the bad in my life and complain how I never really had my true parental figures in the household, but without such an ‘inconvenience,’ I would have never experienced the blessing of growing up the way I did. Instead, I would rather rave about how much I love my grandmother and how thankful I am to have formed such a relationship with her.
Familial relationships are important, and based on your family dynamic, that is going to look different for everyone. Yet, the best part about that is, it’s okay to be different from everyone else. Different does not equal worse.
We are all just people, trying our best to live our lives. So, I suggest we do so with the ones we love, no matter who they are.
Without Nana, I would be a completely different person, and though to some she may just be a simple grandma, but to me she is everything.
Our relationship has wholeheartedly shaped me into the woman I am, and still becoming today, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.