The highs and lows of being queer in college

Like many other LGBTQ+ people, I knew I was queer from a pretty young age. I was a little girl with a crush on another girl, and it was new, scary and exciting. Now, time has passed; I know more about the world and much more about myself. I’m not a girl, I’m in a relationship with another queer person and I am surrounded by my wonderful queer friends.

For our purposes, I will use the word “queer” a lot to describe any member of the LGBTQ+ community. The term means different things to different people; to me, it describes people who don’t conform to society’s expectations of gender, attraction, relationships or sex.

This includes all the letters of the LGBTQ+ acronym: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer. The plus sign signifies all identities that are not specifically listed such as aromantic or asexual (meaning to not feeling romantic or sexual attraction, respectively), nonbinary (under the transgender umbrella, meaning to not identify as either a woman or man) and many more titles that help people understand themselves better.

For many queer people, college is their first opportunity to fully be themselves. Being away from home, oftentimes in a completely new environment, is a good chance to meet people like oneself, experiment with dating and present in a way that makes one happy. I have seen people in freshman year rapidly change into new, happier versions of themselves.

I have had the opportunity to experiment with names and actually go by the pronouns I like. While I am still very shy and unsure when it comes to different names, it is so freeing to be able to dress how I want because there is no expectation like there would be at home. It’s even better when people guess my pronouns and are correct. It’s euphoric.

I was lucky enough in middle and high school to know other queer people but the pure volume of them at college is one of the best parts about being here to me. Even outside of organizations like GLASS (Giving Love Acceptance Safety and Support), I regularly meet other queer people. Seeing queer people being able to walk around as themselves instantly makes a place feel safer to be in.

Unfortunately, the current political climate is hostile towards queer people, particularly transgender people. I have seen my friends take their pride pins off their bags and remove their preferred names in the school’s system in fear of something happening to them. This is not okay.

A college campus is a place where self expression is supposed to thrive, everyone should be able to explore their identities as budding adults. However, in the present day, where queer people’s identities are increasingly politicized and demonized, many people are going back into the closet where it is sad, but safe.

Gay people need to be able to openly love who they want. Transgender people need to be understood and have access to healthcare that will let them live happily. Wanting my friends to live should not be a radical viewpoint, yet I seem to keep butting heads with people who disagree.

Our society needs to stop throwing queer people under the bus and allow them to have happy, fulfilling lives, or else we can not consider the world truly just and fair. A lot of work needs to be done and I hope to one day see a world that is kind to queer people.

I feel lucky that, while things are currently difficult, I am privileged enough to have friends who understand me, to be around open minded peers and professors and to be able to hold hands with my partner. There are people who will probably never be okay with how I live and think but having my community makes it not matter.

For this reason, it is so important for queer people to have communities and support systems. A college campus is a good place to build one of those. If you are queer at UL, GLASS is an organization with lots of kind people. If it is not for you, building a group of trustworthy friends is difficult but worthwhile.

If you are not queer but know people who are, let them know you are an ally. Lift up their voices, help protect them against people who mean them harm and offer a shoulder to cry on. Be a safe space for those who need one; love your queer friends while the world refuses.