It is easy to feel unwanted when you change. When you no longer fit the narrative that others have created, and you stretch to bend the cardboard of your box, you might make those around you nervous. People don’t like change, whether in themselves or in those that were once like them
I fall into two categories, both of whom pride themselves on acceptance, and yet have given me the biggest kicking.
I am a bisexual person and a Christian. And I gotta say, sometimes it sucks.
It feels like both groups have a hard time dealing with one part of me or the other, and while I know God loves me, and I have friends and family that love me, telling people these things is always nerve-wracking to the core.
“Both Jesus and all of scripture approve of no other sexual union than that between a husband and wife. This is the uncontested historical teaching of Judaism and Christianity,” reads an article by Glenn Stanton, director of global family formation studies at Focus on the Family.
And maybe that’s true. I am not going to say that it isn’t, but I cannot believe that God made me the way I am and others of the LGBT community the way that they are so that they would have to live alone in celibacy or completely unhappy in a marriage built on non-attraction.
He also writes that all children deserve a mother and a father, and I will not argue with that completely, and instead say that children deserve both parents, and need maternal and paternal figures in their lives. This could be with aunts, uncles, grandparents etc.
I know wonderful and successful people who are the children of gay parents. I also know people who grew up in a “normal” household who are in a very bad place right now.
I am a bit of a mess at the moment myself, and I would rather have my dad, but I had paternal figures in my life, and I think I am doing pretty well all things considered.
I do understand why my LGBT friends would be distrusting of me. Christians, like the man above, do not help to paint an image of love and acceptance.
I know people who have been abused in the name of God and I have heard horror stories about conversion therapy, so it is understandable why those walls would be put up.
However, not every Christian is like that, and such behavior is so unchristlike it is ridiculous. Think of the story of Mary Magdalene:
“The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:3-7.
This woman was a prostitute, but Jesus still loved her and warned those that were trying to hurt her that they were no more innocent than she. God does not go about hurting people for sinning. He has endless love and forgiveness, as should the rest of us for those around us.
Regardless as to whether gay sex is a sin or not (in my opinion it isn’t, as long as you are married) it isn’t anyone else’s business. It’s between you and your Creator.
But what I am asking you to do, for me and those around you, is to open your mind to those who are different than yourself and listen, truly listen to what they have to say. That is one of the only ways to grow as a person, and help devillainize those that you think are wrong.
Because of stigma, my life has been made more difficult than it needs to be, and it makes me want to be less of who I am. Am I going to be? No. But I still have that fear that I should be, and that isn’t fair to anyone.