It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a classroom

SATIRE — School goes pretty normal on most days, you get up, walk over to the building your class is in and go on with your day. But, today was not most days as instead of walking into my class I had to fly up to it. I am sure as a kid almost everyone has dreamed of having flying cars in the future but here we are in 2023 having flying classrooms rather than flying cars.

I was going over to my English class in Griffin Hall around 8:00 in the morning trying to shake off the sluggishness of my body. I crossed the street headed to my class and entered the room to find that all of my classmates were standing in awe of something. I could not see what it was but as I made my way closer I saw it. Our classroom was gone, there was nothing but an empty space where everything used to be.

Suddenly all the other rooms around us began floating up into the sky one by one until the entire building was completely stripped. All the students, including me, ran down to the ground as fast as we could and when we got down there we saw our professor. She explained to us that we were going to be doing things a little different from now on. 

Our classroom will now be in the air rather than the ground and it won’t be changing for the rest of the semester. Of course no person would look at this situation and say to themselves “Okay that sounds normal” so everyone began freaking out. 

I was more focused on how we were going to get up to where we needed to go. Are we going to jump? Well of course not, even though that would be awesome, we’re just humans. Take a plane? Climb a rope? Well our professor told us to worry she’ll handle everything. She gave us balloons and told us to attach our belongings to them and watch them float off. That handled our school material but we had to go up in a different way. Our professor raised her hands in the air signaling for something to come our way.

A gigantic hot air balloon began moving toward us eventually landing in front of the once fully put together building. All of the students began piling inside of the balloon holding on for dear life as we prepared for take off. The balloon takes off and soars through the skies, some of us are scared, some are calm and some are screaming at the top of their lungs. We eventually arrive at the classroom and the balloon lands, dropping us off.

Class goes pretty normal from there we go through our lesson and get assigned our next essay and the time comes for us to head back to the ground. We all look on waiting for the balloon to come back but our professor lets us know that we will not be taking the balloon back down. She turns toward all of us holding parachutes telling us all to take one. I think to myself there is no way this is actually happening. I pinch my arm a few times and nothing happens so I know I am not in a dream.

Reluctantly, all the students and I place the parachutes on our backs and look for the nearest place we can safely land. There is a huge target on the ground where we are supposed to aim for and hope we make it safely. 

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, jumping out of the flying classroom screaming the whole way down. Whenever the time comes I pull my parachute and land on the big red target checking myself to see if I am okay. After that day I withdrew from the class; I definitely could not take another day of crazy sky class.