Life changes. But why do I not want to change with it?

With the rise of new age spirituality, the term “twin flames” has recently become very popular. According to Parade.com, your “twin flame, they are a reflection of your true self, which is why you have such strong connecting emotions when in contact with one. This is a very, very deep connection—not just physical or emotional, but all the way to connecting on a spiritual level.” 

Urban Dictionary describes twin flames as “our most perfect mirrors, because they are us in another body. Our twin flames are the only ones who give us a true and honest reflection of who we are, and where we are in our lives at any given time.”

Some say that loving your twin flame is like loving ourselves. While that is powerful, it is not always easy loving yourself. Most of us constantly live our lives trying to find who we are or what direction we should go in. So, if loving your twin feels the same as loving yourself, wouldn’t most of the journey feel lonely?

Sometimes I wonder if twin flames exist or is that just our innate need to fight for someone that we love. Maybe labeling them our twin flames means that we give that person more meaning in our life because we are not ready to let go. 

Meaning, if I call you my twin flame and we just so happen to break up, I can hold on to hope that down the line we will be together because I am not ready to walk away just yet. 

Some people say that twin flames teach you what you need to fix in yourself and how to love yourself by showing us things that we don’t like about ourselves. Something I often ponder about, if it took this person not loving you correctly to show you that you need to love yourself, why go back?

I want so badly to believe in twin flames, but I also believe that some people just serve seasons in our life. The saying is very cliche, but it still holds true. Sometimes no matter how badly you want to hold on to someone, you have to realize that you may have outgrown them. That is okay. Sometimes that person also needs time to grow. 

Love is not selfish. Love is accepting the fact that maybe I am not right for that person no matter how many times we reunite in the future. No matter how many times I change myself in a repeated cycle to become better. The case of the relationship might always be right person, wrong time. 

Finding yourself constantly having to heal from heartbreak because it didn’t work this time around, or you were the only giving person in the relationship because your partner was still healing. Is this really your twin or your person if you find yourself constantly having to heal from them and not with them?

I think what makes this title so interesting is that most twin flames never really make it to the relationship dynamic. It is always a situationship dynamic. You know I love you and vice versa, but someone is always scared to be in a relationship. That is where the runner-chaser dynamic comes in. One person is constantly chasing the other person for more. Then when the chaser gets tired and ready to move on, the runner decides to chase. 

If this person is considered to be the one, the Excalibur to your King Arthur, why does it always cut to keep that person in your grasp? I would like to think that your person’s love will feel like healing and not abandonment. The only fear that “the one” should give you, is am I going too fast? 

I know that they say that meeting your twin flame feels as if you have known each other for lifetimes. But maybe, just maybe, your twin flame is only the idea of meeting yourself. Maybe, we are just trying to romanticize forever in a relationship that was only sent as a guide. However, the version of you that you try to bury is simply, God’s or the universe’s way of teaching you to not only heal but to learn how to love all parts of you even if some parts seem scary.