Dating in college is weird. I don’t partake in the dating scene, I like living in peace. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what goes on in no man’s land. It’s crazy out there. With the horror stories I hear from my friends, I steer clear of dating in general.
And that sounds bad and someone out there is probably saying, “But Kay, one bad experience from someone else shouldn’t dictate how you feel about it.” And to that, I say, I do not care. When the consensus of the experts in dating is telling me NOT to date, then I will not date. It is a simple argument with a simple solution.
I think in today’s society, social media has played a giant role in how people view relationships as a whole. As social media has evolved and given us easy access to speaking with millions of people, the societal view on dating has also evolved. Anyone can find their other half (or halves) through the various dating apps on the market.
No matter how many ads Tinder makes about people finding their perfect partner, getting married and living happily ever after, I will not believe them. The heinous activities that take place on Tinder alone make me barf. Apps like Hinge, Bumble and Grindr are no better, my friends all have all sorts of dating app horror stories. From creeps, stalkers and nonchalant weirdos, I have heard it all.
Before I dive too deep into hating the dating scene, I am aware that I have not experienced most of these things. And that can seem like a hypocritical point of view since I’m bashing experiences that did not happen to me. I like to think of it as if I were walking a path my friends have already gone down, and they warn me that up ahead there is a very large chance I will fall into a pit of lava. Why would I want to continue walking and fall into a pit of lava?
The dating app hot mess aside, dating in real life isn’t any better. You have to deal with the hookup culture, the nonchalant people, the “not looking for anything serious” people, the people only looking for a “long-term, long-distance, low-commitment casual girlfriend” and the list goes on and on.
Dating has lost its meaning to some. I know my friends and people around me think that they are completely done with dating for now. And I say for now, because the collective notion that I am picking up on is that most college-aged people are waiting until they’re “actually adults” to start looking for a real committed relationship.
Many young adults are not looking for a committed relationship, and others are. That is where our current generation has a clash of morals. There is this mix between going full send into a relationship and not wanting to be tied down. I understand the feelings of both sides. In my generation, we are straying away from the mold of what a relationship is.
We no longer have to be stay-at-home mothers, or a father working a nine to five job. The roles can be reversed, or the roles do not have to exist because couples are not having children. And that is perfectly acceptable, but this break in societal norms has also let loose something else.
Since we are not bound by societal expectations, we can be anything with anyone. There does not have to be any sort of label on a relationship anymore. Which only makes deciphering your date even harder. You have to work twice as hard just to get a solid answer out of someone whenever you ask them, “What are we?”
Now, I understand that not everyone out there is a horrible prick that cannot handle committing to someone. I know that there are amazing people out there and everyone has their special someone, somewhere. I just think I will be taking a step back from the young adult dating scene and jumping back in when I am like 60 years old. I feel like I would like to skip the mental gymnastics of dating and figuring out someone’s intentions for now. Y’all stay safe out there.