SATIRE- Smoothie King is one of the beloved restaurants on the University of Louisiana at Lafayette’s campus, located right there in the Student Union. It provides a fun alternative to those who may not want coffee, or those who simply like smoothies. Because, come on, who doesn’t?
I’m sure that many of the students of UL Lafayette are familiar with their plethora of flavor options that range from healthy, chock full of protein or more of a treat. My favorite, of course, is the delicious Angel Food with extra strawberries and oat milk.
Despite recognizing these delicious flavors, an unfamiliar name has appeared on Smoothie King’s menu seemingly out of nowhere. There was no advertisement, no announcement or anything at all.
Usually when a new flavor or item is added to any food establishment, there is always a huge fuss about it. However, this one seems to have popped up almost by itself. Strange, right? There was even no camera footage of someone adding it to the menu.
The odd flavor presented itself with the name “Brainberry Burst”. A peculiar name for an equally as peculiar smoothie option. At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary if you ignore the mystery as to how it appeared in the first place.
A student who wished to remain anonymous reported that she first noticed the smoothie, and decided to give it a try. Nobody thought much of it at first, after all. The Brainberry Burst smoothie was supposedly a fluorescent blue, swirled with what looked like holographic glitter.
That definitely couldn’t be in accordance with any health codes. However, I suppose the unnamed student did not care. She drank the smoothie in its entirety, and was immediately met with a freezing sensation in her head.
“It was like a brain freeze, but worse!” she told me. But that’s not all! This girl had a math exam on the very same day and walked into class none the wiser about her current state. She had never been great at math, but it was like all of the answers suddenly flooded to her brain.
Once her exam came back, the proof was clear to see. A 100% despite not studying at all either. Was it magic? Did she suddenly become a math genius? Well, it was quickly found out that the Brainberry Blast smoothie was the mastermind behind everything.
The news got out to her friends, and they decided that they must try it too. I mean, I would certainly do the same. However, I don’t eat or drink anything unless I know exactly what’s in it. No offense, it’s just not my thing.
Either way, all of the student’s friends reported the exact same results. 100s on all of their exams, just like that! That was it then: this smoothie had something in it that made anyone who drank it into a genius. Or, well, at least when it came to their tests.
I tried asking the group if it applied to any other area of their lives, but I was met with shrugged shoulders and shaking heads.
“Only our tests. Dunno why,” one of the student’s friends told me. Absolutely perplexing! Soon enough, everyone was passing their tests and quizzes with flying colors and practically no effort at all. Smoothie King has been absolutely swarmed, all with students clamoring for a taste of Brainberry Blast.
The workers were overwhelmed, that was for sure. Scooping ounce after ounce of this strange, shiny substance into people’s cups all day long was quite troublesome. It didn’t take long for the stock to run out of course.
As soon as the last speck of powder left the worker’s measuring cup, the name of the flavor instantly disappeared from the menu as well. There was never any explanation for this odd series of events, and Brainberry Blast was never seen again no matter how hard people tried to look for it.